Monday.

He’s off sick again.  He’s in a mood.  She’s always happy.  That’s always weird.

I try to creep in because I’m five minutes late.  I don’t know why I do this because I never go home on time but for some reason I creep in.  And I’m the practice manager.

I log in and sigh as 79 emails find their way into my inbox.  I’ve only had one day off but there they are.  79 emails.  I log into the clinical system.  It’s 8.40am.  We already have no appointments.  The query list is longer than your average novel and the nurses lists have been extended beyond their lunch time.   They won’t be happy if they miss out on their super noodles.  I have 22 internal emails.  I notice some of the subject headings.  They include:

• The toilet is blocked
• The roof is still leaking
• Off sick
• I need to talk to you
• Trouble with a patient

I make my way to the bear pit admin office.  It takes me 45 minutes to get out.  This time I escape without physical injury.  I jest.  Of course. Just.  22 minutes is spent listening to her tell me how she hates to complain about anyone ….. and then she complains for 22 minutes about someone.  Another 10 minutes is spent telling me the tea we buy in isn’t strong enough.   5 minutes was spent by me doing my usual pathetic attempt at trying to make conversation with them about their weekend.  Nobody asks about mine.  4 minutes was spent opening the post, any marked private and confidential as usual fill me with fear.  They are almost always complaints.  The last being about the fact our  TV was displaying pornographic material.  I madly dashed to the said TV in horror only to see an advert for our local swimming pool.  Yes there were swimming costumes and yes some skin on show.  Pornographic though?  I dutifully apologise profusely of course.

The last minute in the office was spent backing out the door quietly as the phones grabbed their attention.  I catch one from the corner of my eye waving me to stay but I take my chance and run.

I grab my green tea and try to get back to my office.   I’m immediately greeted by him complaining about the appointments and him complaining about his headaches, then she passes me on the corridor and well, she’s just happy.  It’s still weird.

Mondays.  It’s only 9.28am.  I’m already reaching for my secret stash of  haribos.

I’ll leave the vodka for now 😉