By Robert Campbell

In a series of articles to help support new GP Practice Managers here is a tongue in cheek view of the first thirty-one days (or is it?).

Peter’s Puzzle

There is a  puzzled look on the face of new practice manager as he surveys the scene in his new office of paper piles and policy manuals left for him by his predecessor. The new boy, let’s call him Peter Piper picks himself up and ponders his next move.  It looks lie his predecessor had left in a rush.

Plastic Surgery

A plastic bin comes into view and one of the doctors enters asking, ‘Do you need a hand; Oh just chuck it all in the bin’. (Yes that part is true and the fear of throwing away an essential document has plagued me ever since). Peter fights with the paperclips, treasury tags, and rubber bands and wonders whether a pair of gloves might be necessary. Kid gloves!

Paying Peter

Paying invoices and doing the payroll appear to be the priorities at the outset and a plastic card appears on the desk at the top of a pile. The pile increases in size as the post arrives. Peter loves opening envelopes, paper cuts et al. Is it urgent? Is it important? It’s all guess work at the moment.

Passing Words

Peter tries his new plastic smart card.  The card is smart as it knows who he is. His name appears on the screen. But what is the password? The Administrator will help you with that – but who is the Administrator – she’s on holiday until Monday. And so the journey begins. One step forward and two backwards. Too many emails to read – no one has looked at them for weeks.  It’s apparent that his predecessor had a lot of personal and junk emails. The CCG and NHS England have been prolific with lots of lengthy documents to read. Is there a colour printer in the house?

Power by Walk About

Frustrated by the scam, the junk and the plethora of emails, Peter decides to take a walk about and introduce himself PBWA (Power by walk about) and to Pow Wow with his new charges. They seem a nice lot. Some try to score points and others just smile knowingly. He can almost read their minds. The questions include ‘When is pay day’ and the comments include something along the lines of ’What a fine mess you’ve got yourself into’ and ‘Can we have a day off for Christmas shopping?’.

Playing the Theme Tune – ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’

Suitably encouraged by his walkabout – not, it’s a case of meeting the doctors one by one – all have their own take on things and very quickly it’s possible to weigh up the good, from the bad, lazy and ugly. Usually the questions raised include asking you to chase up something ridiculous and Peter hears himself saying under his breath – lazy bugger. But then there are the helpful ones, the ones to get to know and will help you along the treacherous path. Usually, the new ‘person’ deals with tasks as and when they arrive but after a while, Peter starts to prioritise the wheat from the chaff.

Plied with Coffee

Thirst starts to kick in and the search starts for the kettle, milk, sugar and coffee. A kind soul offers to make you a drink. The energy levels muster. The first day soon over and the horrible drive home starts. Another day another ‘Euro’!

Pay Slip Fever

A month in post and today the new boy hands out the pay slips. The cry of ‘You have not paid me overtime!’ rings in his ears and the reply ‘You did not tell me you have done any’ breaks the silent peace of the office. Someone else enters the ever open door and bellows ‘You have not ordered any toilet rolls – we’ve run out’. ‘There’s no petty cash for stamps’ another bustles. The honeymoon is over and the new boy gets his feet wet.

Panic ye not!

All’s well that ends well. And so it goes on new pastures, some grass grows more slowly and the candle is lit at both ends. An air of panic sets in only to be soothed by the first pay slip and a promise of a day off when the moon is blue. Then it’s all Policies, Protocols and Procedures. The three ‘P’s.