By PM Polly

A sketch?

The meaning of description.  Apparently it means an account, a portrayal, a picture and also a sketch.  The latter perhaps could be the reason why a practice manager’s job description is usually completely inaccurate.

It’s a sketch.  A draft.  A VERY rough copy.  An outline.

All of these words are ambiguous and when I read my job description I foolishly mistook it as an accurate description, an accurate portrayal and an accurate picture, but no; it’s a sketch.

Should I write a practice manager’s job description in the future (this is entirely possible as jobs in ASDA stacking beans and tinned tomatoes are looking highly appealing) then I would have to write in these additional roles to ensure the prospective candidate has a more accurate ‘description’ of her/his forthcoming role:

1. Be prepared to pick up spiders for receptionists that cry and faint at the sight of anything with eight legs
2. Be watchful for parents who leave their children unattended and who then wander out of the door towards the traffic
3. Make sure EVERYONE gets a birthday card
4. Don’t EVER let the milk run out because this causes GPs to go into severe shock
5. NEVER show emotion, any weakness is pounced on
6. Learn how to ensure your staff cars are safe so when a nurse advises you her tyres are OK because they are ‘smooth’ you can advise her appropriately
7. Don’t ever suggest a change in uniform, this will result in approximately 476 days of reception staff arguing over which top they want
8. Bring in cake. Lots of cake. Every day.
9. Be knowledgeable about housing, benefits, schools, nurseries, holiday destinations, catteries. You will be expected to know the answers to all of these queries.
10. Be prepared for battle, I mean battle – Amazon do a great stock of shields to fend off those fights
11. Learn how to unblock toilets and ensure you know how to empty the guttering
12. Ensure you have been on a course that enables you to ‘mind read’. Without it you’re stuffed

I’m sure practice managers could add another hundred quite easily.  This could then be added and instead of a job description, we’d have a job truthcription.

The only problem is.  Who is going to apply for it?!

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