“Don’t confuse having a career with having a life” – Hillary Clinton

This year during Self-Care Week, it’s important to think about both ‘Mind and Body’. With that in mind, I thought I’d share some management and behaviour principles that can be applied not only in the workplace but in home life too.

I’d like to introduce you firstly to the Stress Bucket Theory. Imagine yourself as a bucket (or in my case, more like a water butt…). The everyday stresses of life fill you up like water from a tap. Some days the tap is merely a gentle ‘plip plop’; other days it’s a steady trickle. On occasion, it flows like Niagara Falls. All is relatively well, BUT what happens when the bucket is full? What happens when it overflows?

Let’s convert this theory into real life. Some days, the gentle ebb and flow of life plip-plops or trickles like the water from a tap. The bucket has some water in it but it’s not too heavy and you’re able to carry it. As in life, if we’re not overburdened then there’s not too much weight on our shoulders. When the tap is turned on full, though, and the water cascades into the bucket, it becomes heavy, unmanageable and eventually overflows. When this happens, we start to feel anxious, stressed, depressed and eventually burn out.

If the bucket of water fills too much, we (or others) may notice that our behaviours start to change. If the bucket is heavy, it’s no fun carrying it around. Similarly, if life is weighing us down then our sense of fun and enjoyment starts to fade.

But recognising that your stress bucket is filling up too much or overflowing gives you the opportunity to turn the situation around. Tipping some of the water away equates to delegating and/or saying no. You can even poke some holes in the bottom of your bucket so it never fills to the top by managing self-care and seeking support as and when needed.

The holes you poke in your bucket could be simple things like:

• Getting centred – what grounds you? Yoga, meditation or just a long walk are great grounding techniques for bringing heightened emotions back down to ground level.
• Solving problems – can you, or do you, delegate? I’m a control freak; I like to know where we are and how we’re doing. But I can’t do everything and some things can be done perfectly well by someone else.
• Building strong foundations – know your own worth. No manager in general practice is good at taking regular breaks (me included). Know your value; without those breaks you might become tired and when we’re tired, our attention isn’t always where we’d like it to be.
• Try to imagine the world from another perspective – the old cliché about ‘to understand someone, first walk a mile in their shoes’ covers that.
• Discovering your patterns – do you know your own behaviours? Think about things like checking emails on your phone, working late or not taking your lunch break. Someone once told me that when I say no and really mean it, I say the word and do a little shake of my head at the same time!
• Understanding what you can control and what you can influence – the Circle of Control…

The Circle of Control helps you to understand what you can control in life, what you can influence and what you can change.

The largest area, the centre, is you. You control your own actions: the way you respond and your mindset. The smaller area, the inner ring, is what you can influence: people’s perceptions, cultures and communication. The smallest area, the outer ring, is change: you can’t change people’s behaviours or personalities. This area is out of your control. As a manager, you can, however, make changes for the better.

The Circle of Control can give us valuable insights into how we might be using our energy and time on things that are beyond our control. By visualising our spheres of control and influence, we empower ourselves to make conscious decisions and steer our energies in a more effective direction.

Whether at work or at home, no one needs an overflowing bucket in their life. Try to find the right balance for you and your needs.

You can read more about the Stress Bucket Theory here, there are some great suggestions for emptying and managing your bucket.

Remember, stressed spelt backwards is desserts. And a bucket full of that ain’t a bad thing… (Disclaimer: unless you’re diabetic.)

(The views expressed in this blog are my own and not representative of any organisation in which I work.)