I’m angry. No, not angry. I’m livid!

This government is throwing a miserly amount of cash at GP services, which between us all is unsubstantial. Worse than that, it isn’t going to make any difference.

Firstly, this money is to be used to secure locums: GPs, ANPs, pharmacists, even paramedics. Tell me, Sajid Javid, where is this magic pool of locums you talk of? I know practices who’ve had GP vacancies for more than a year and still can’t get a locum.

Secondly, if by some mighty miracle we did manage to secure a locum, where would you like them to work? In the car park? Behind the bins? In the garden? Or perhaps they could carry out an examination on the kitchen table?

Thirdly, last year you told us we should “embrace technology” and it should be the norm to be able to contact your GP digitally. We spent months training and building new processes to provide this service and now you tell us it’s not good enough. The reduction in face-to-face contact statistics don’t take into account that many patients LIKE a digital consultation or telephone call.

Languishing under the weight of the Daily Fail headlines, you’ve yet again failed to engage with actual primary care staff. Please come into our surgery and answer the phone. Without phone triage, our lists would be full 24 hours a day. Before working in a surgery, like you, I had no idea people would ring the next day for an urgent appointment because they’d had the sh*ts since 7pm the night before.

It happens.

All the time.

The population needs to be educated on diet, health, smoking, drinking and exercise. In the main, we’re responsible for our own health, yet we expect to carry on abusing our bodies then scream like a toddler when the GP can’t fix it. The NHS was designed to care for ill people; we weren’t supposed to not give a sh*t about our own health and then expect someone else to sort it out. The Government needs to do much more on health education.

Also, when our practices are being bashed, why is there no mention of the waiting lists in secondary care which have expanded beyond recognition? This means patients come back to their GP as their issues become worse. Our lists and demands get longer and weightier. I find it amazing that we get into the newspaper because someone couldn’t get their yellow toenail seen today, yet when a patient is told they need to wait a few weeks for a potential cancerous lump to be examined or a few years for a new hip, they accept this as the norm.

One last thing, general practice staff have seen patients throughout the pandemic and continue to do so at the same levels, or increasing levels, as they did pre-pandemic. They also delivered 70% of the Covid vaccinations to the public. They saved and continue to save thousands of lives.

This week, a staff member at my practice has been called a “fu**ing sl*g”, our practice has been told it’s “fu**ing hopeless” and, worse than this, a patient actually took a sh*t in a specimen bag and handed it to the receptionist.

I apologise for some of the language used in this article; however, believe me, it could’ve been a lot worse!

Polly. Is. Provoked!