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‘That’ type of patient – by PM Polly

I received a complaint the other day mentioning that I’d seen the patient in a local supermarket and had raised my voice at her (over the bananas, I presume), telling her off for missing an appointment. There were two things here that rang alarm bells. Firstly, I’d never heard of this patient, and we all know that if they’re ‘that’ type of patient we’re going to know their names. Secondly, if I’d dared to take a trip to the local Morrisons, I’d have gone in wearing a hat and some very, very, big, dark sunglasses.

It got me thinking about the most frequent kinds of complaints we hear.

  1. It’s too hot in the waiting room. (Take one of your nine layers off?)
  2. It’s too cold in the waiting room. (Wear a scarf?)
  3. It’s raining outside. (Sorry, I’ll get in touch with the Met Office to see what I can do.)
  4. The message on the answerphone is too long. (Patients)
  5. The message on the answerphone doesn’t provide enough information. (Health boards)
  6. The receptionist was rude and used my first name. (OK, Mr Smith, next time we ring, we won’t ask to speak to Mr John Smith, just Mr Smith.)
  7. There’s not enough information on the walls. (We don’t want to bombard you.)
  8. There’s too much information on the walls. (We want to keep you informed.)
  9. There aren’t enough chairs in the waiting room. (We’re trying to keep to social-distancing rules.)
  10. There are too many chairs in the waiting room. (We’re trying to keep to social-distancing rules.)
  11. The radio station is too loud. (We try to create privacy for our patients.)
  12. The radio station is too quiet. (We want to be able to hear our patients.)
  13. The car park is too busy. (Stop leaving your car in the car park to pop to Morrisons then!)
  14. I don’t do Facebook, so update your website. (OK, I’ll update the website at the same time.)
  15. I don’t do websites, so update your phone message. (OK, I’ll add more to the phone message.)
  16. Your phone message is too long. (Aaarghhhhh!)
  17. I don’t like your email address; it’s too complicated. (Real complaint?)
  18. Your receptionist is rude because she peered at me over her glasses. (Sorry, they’re just reading glasses; she can’t see you otherwise.)
  19. You rang me, and how dare you leave a message! (It was urgent and we didn’t want you to miss it; we didn’t leave any patient-identifiable information.)
  20. You rang me and didn’t leave a message; how stupid! (It wasn’t urgent; we don’t like to leave messages if we can help it, to protect your privacy.)

What do you get the most complaints about and what’s your favourite one?!

PM Polly

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PM Polly

Experienced Practice Manager doing my best to stay sane.

View all posts by PM Polly
11 Responses to “‘That’ type of patient – by PM Polly”
  1. SC Says:

    Patients who have no respect for GPs and can’t get the meds they want (but don’t need). “I know my own body and what I need – the doctor is useless. In fact all your doctors are useless!” (Real comment). Would have said something along the lines of “please feel free to register with another practice if we can’t meet your needs”, but I was already aware that the patient had tried every surgery in town (some more than once)….

    Reply

  2. Dagma Friis Says:

    Hi Polly
    Yes this sums it up as we have nothing better to do. I am so exasperated with all the tedious complaints. The most annoying is the non mask wearers not understanding that we need to protect ourselves and our other patients
    Best wishes and stay sane
    Dagma

    Reply

  3. james morgan Says:

    My favourite of all time is “the self check in screen doesn’t allow you to switch to welsh…..”
    my reply – there is a button 2cm’s to the right of where you are pointing with a rather welsh flag indicating the change of language.
    their reply “its not obvious enough”
    my reply “its a massive welsh flag though!?!? what else would you need to signify the button means change language to welsh…..”
    *long pause*

    Reply

  4. Karen Steer Says:

    Patient: ‘I was 23rd in the call queue, that’s absolutely ridiculous, you need to hire more reception staff’
    Me: We have no room to hire more reception staff, and we are unable to police the demand on the phones, try calling at a non peak time, perhaps after 11am, when the phones are not as busy’

    Changed the phone situation so that now you are just ‘held in a queue’ with no numbering to the queue.

    Patient: ‘I didn’t know what number I was in the queue, it’s absolutely ridiculous’
    Me: Just GRRRRRRRRRRR

    Reply

    • Polly Says:

      and if you offer online services that’s not fair either apparently – I’m considering trying smoke signals for fun 🙂

      Reply

  5. PM Mary Says:

    “I don’t like the sort of music you play in the waiting room.” [Well someone is going to dislike it, whatever you play!]. I longed to say “Neither do most of our receptionists: they have to listen to it all day, 5 days a week!”

    Reply

    • Polly Says:

      especially at Christmas, so looking forward to hearing ‘Rockin around the Christmas tree’ four thousand times in December 🙂

      Reply

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