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That one – by PM Polly

by in Funny, Staff

There’s always one, isn’t there?

You know, ‘that’ one.

THE one employee.

The moaner, the whinger, the one who smiles to your face but complains to everyone else and then smiles to your face again.

You may read this and think, ‘Lucky thing! You only have one!’ And I do count myself lucky but I also can’t help but wonder what makes people tick and why they waste so much energy on being ‘that’ one.

Most conversations from ‘that’ one start with, ‘I know you’re busy, but…’

‘That’ one thinks they’re the only person in the surgery who does any work to the right standard; it doesn’t matter how well anybody else does their work, it’s never as good as theirs.

‘That’ one is the first to complain that a meeting took place on their day off so they were ‘left out’, yet they would never put themselves forward to come in, or join us on Teams, even with the promise that they’d get their time back.

They want to complain.

‘That’ one is the one who never answers an email if we’re looking for extra staff or, even worse, looking for someone to cover lock-up.

‘That’ one is the first to complain about another colleague ‘not pulling their weight’ while at the same time arranging a night out with said colleague.

‘That’ one always cries if you bring them in and talk to them about their attitude; ‘that’ one always has many excuses for their behaviour – the last time it was due to their poorly budgie, which resulted in a sleepless night.

‘So that explains why you’re being a *****,’ I think to myself. I sigh inwardly while my head actually nods sympathetically. But that old sinking feeling is back. I guess I just have to accept that they’re ‘that’ one.

Nothing is good enough for ‘that’ one; if you offer them a training opportunity, they want to do another course, and if you offer to increase/decrease their hours, it’s not on the right day. ‘That’ one will check their holiday entitlement and make sure it’s correct to the exact minute. ‘That’ one refers to their contract at every given opportunity. ‘That’ one always wants Christmas Eve off, and when you explain it has to be rotated, they then cry to the senior partner that they’ve been deprived of Christmas Eve off with their kids. Luckily, the senior partner also knows that they can be a ******* ****. (You can make up your own special words to fill in the gaps!)

You must have a ‘that’ one too. The worst thing is they don’t really do enough for you to formally challenge them.

Everything they do is through a smile and everything they say is sickly sweet, when in fact you know they probably want to staple most of their colleagues to the noticeboard by the ear.

Good luck with your ‘that’ one! At least while we’re wearing masks we can continue to mouth ‘**** ***!’ or words to that effect. Something positive has to come out of this year!

Solidarity!

PM Polly 🙂

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PM Polly

PM Polly

Experienced Practice Manager doing my best to stay sane.

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12 Responses to “That one – by PM Polly”
  1. Avatar
    DiP Says:

    That really made me smile. You have captured our ‘one’ perfectly. I would add a further skill to their role – one of ‘handgrenade annie’ frequently as they leave their shift at the end of the week they throw in a sentence that throws the whole reception team into irrational thought – we spend the remainder of the week settling the team down, for them to return on Monday as if nothing happened – ‘wasn’t me’

    Reply

  2. Avatar
    Helsy Says:

    To a tee , but you can also add loves to play the victim, overworked but wont allow anyone to help !

    Reply

  3. Avatar
    Alli Says:

    My “one” (AKA the practice Gob!), left last year – mid pandemic, because she thought the grass was greener elsewhere! Guess what? It wasn’t, she now wants to return (over my dead body) and our team are the happiest they have been since I joined.

    Reply

  4. Avatar
    Jeffrey Says:

    Fantastic article so true,

    Reply

  5. Avatar
    Kay Says:

    These comments are brilliant and gives me reassurance it’s not just me! !

    Reply

  6. Avatar
    Diana Says:

    Perfectly captures “that one” my one is also a nurse and can find so many excuses for not doing something all of which cannot be reviewed so you cant catch her out I did not know there was so many excuses available

    Reply

  7. Avatar
    Caroline Says:

    I enjoyed that!

    Reply

  8. Avatar
    Niné Says:

    Love this really made me smile after a difficult few days with my “one” Thank you for the post.

    Reply

  9. Avatar
    Margaret Says:

    My “one” has been here for ever!!!! When I discussed addressing an issue with the partners, they of course backed me up. Spoke to the “one”, not happy, decided to give everyone the silent treatment (OMG the peace was amazing) until on of the partners broke, bought her flowers to cheer her up and asked me to apologise. Many a choice work was offered. Back to them same behaviour. Help me Lord!

    Reply

  10. Avatar
    Kay Says:

    It’s good to know that we are not alone with “the ones” I wonder if they have a club where they discuss their grievances as they are the only “ones” to be overworked, accurate and put upon….. 🙂 Thank you for making me smile

    Reply

  11. Avatar
    Caroline Says:

    I had one of them – she left – now another staff member has taken up the baton!

    Reply

  12. Avatar
    Mary Says:

    I wondered why I always had “one”! Good to know you’re not alone. The hardest lesson was learning that, people come and people go, but there would nearly always be “the one”.

    Reply

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