My stomach lurched last weekend as I prepared myself for ‘getting back to work’.
Although I’d actually only had one day off over the holidays, there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach as if I’d chewed up a disposable mask and it was sitting there, churning.
In a lame attempt to better things, I grabbed a pen and notebook and decided to make a few work-related New Year’s resolutions. Who knows, I may even stick to one of them this time!
- Go for a pee at least twice a day.
- Accept that eating ten ‘Celebrations’ chocolates does not constitute a balanced lunch.
- Be extra nice to staff who actually listen and do things for you. Why not?!
- Absolutely do not join one more WhatsApp work-related group – which should avoid the want to punch Janet who starts sending links to COVID research and how it interacts with alcohol (who cares?) at 3am.
- Take a lunch break, an actual lunch break, not one where the keyboard catches the seeds from your bread as you take in the latest information governance update, but one where you actually eat with two hands away from your desk.
- Don’t turn your phone on until at least 8am. Work doesn’t start at 6am despite what Dr Knight thinks; the decision on whether he can go to the South of France a week on Friday can wait for a couple of hours.
- Stop being so passionate (controversial, I know). How many times after standing your ground on something important have you thought afterwards – did it really matter? Treat your job as it should be treated. A job. Not your life.
- When you see the person who annoys you the most in work (we all have at least one), try to stop rolling your eyes or sighing every time he talks.
- Try to spend less than £780 per year at Costa.
- Don’t ever, ever, press ‘reply all’ on an email without checking a thousand times who’s in the ‘reply all’. The ‘funny meme’ with Leonardo de Caprio and a banana that was also inadvertently sent to the local MP has taken a very long time to get over.
And I will remember, above all else, that New Year’s resolutions are just relaxed promises to ourselves that can be broken at any time.
After all, we’re the boss! Do you have any?